| I Placed An Angel On His Grave | |
| Today I placed an angel on his grave For 12 years his service-me he gave A faithfull dog, my watch, till his dying day It still feels like I was the one to betray His girl timidly came to me standing by So I placed an angel there that’s praying Memorial for Banner …half wolf, half shepherd, all loyal. |
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| I’ll alwas have him in Dusty Girl, but I miss him too. So many memories in 12 years, so many times we protected each other, and had fun times too. One year now, and it is getting a bit easier to talk about. And so I decided to share the poem I wrote last year. Blessings, Robin | |
Looking at my buddy, understanding all too well, very touching Robin all I can say.
Hey Rocky, thanks.. I knew you would. I didn’t want to bum anyone out, but he deserved the memorial. This is a tough month for me. My brother’s birthday, and the day he was killed in Vietnam. When I get pics posting down, I’ll post a pic of him, and a poem I wrote on Memorial Day one year. Gerald, (my brother) was a christian, and still is. :) So, so, glad for that. Blessings
Robin,
your precious words have brought tears to my cheeks. I have often said that God gave us dogs so that we could understand how He feels about us. How in His mercy He understands aour inadequacies and shortcomings. Yet, it is only the best of humans that could ever suffice to the least in the dog.
I have also often said that if more people were like dogs in this world, I wouldn’t of had a job as a police officer; nor probably as a chaplain as well.
It is self-evident of your love for Banner – how fortunate that God gave you Dusty girl to help ease your pain.
I to empathize with Rocky, as I look at my little boy – Ty (my 10 month old German Shepard). Carrie and I have come to the conclusion that Ty is slow, I don’t want to say stupid, just perhaps mentally impaired a bit. He has a hard time associating negative consequences with negative behaviors, his memory seems to be short term is far as the rules.
I am by nature a disciplinarian, yet to understand this aspect of my dog is merciful for him, because my expectations for him are much lower than most of the dog’s I have had. It may sound cruel to say this about my dog, but by taking this stance it means that I don’t have to punish him for things that are too hard for him to comprehend.
That I can love him and not hold him to a level of accountability which is beyond his capability of fulfilling. It means he can get away with an awful lot, and he gets loving-in in spite of it. You see my dog has an addiction problem also, he loves to eat poop. This is the most sickening thing I’ve ever had to deal with in a dog – I’ve never found anything so objectionable in my life.
However, all of these things I’ve said are a part of God’s object lesson in teaching me. You see I am slow, and have a hard time connecting negative consequences to negative behaviors. AND:
“Hello – My name is Brent, I am an alcoholic / addict”
And though my addiction is different than my dog’s addiction to poop, they both cause their masters great disdain, humiliation, and disgust. Yet, it is my dogs addiction and my own addiction, wherein I understand God’s love for this stupid mutt – this mutt by the name of Brent.
Thank you Robin for sharing such touching words. bb
Lol at the last paragraph, I know what you mean. Banner had PTSD at 3 months old, and he wouldn’t even let me touch him for about a month. Terrified of noise, children, everything. So punishment wasn’t an option. God knew I needed him, to see myself. I wasn’t perfect dealing with his issues, but for the most part, I let him be what he wanted to be, with guidance of course.
He would follow commands, and walk right by me. And alpha roll, which is something you do with an alpha dog like a wolf, or shepherd. He being both is not a good thing I was told by a wolf breeder who said no to me wanting to breed to his female. Too much alpha, he said.
Banner stopped listening to me at about a yr. old, and look at me like, yeah whatever, when I told him to sit, and seemed to be thinking.. I’m about to take over here. I learned the alpha roll from a friend. So I tried it. I layed him dow with my hand on the side of his neck and said no, don’t look at me! Just like another pack dog would do. Then I let him up, and he jumped up playfull! Back to my sweet dutiful pup I loved! It instantly worked! A wolf has to know who is alpha or they actualy are nervous, feeling that position is not filled.
I do alpha roll with Dusty too occasionaly. She is an aggresive female. A guy was here today to tell me that they were going to be cutting under powerlines, and he yelled from his truck, “Does he bit!?” SHE was being agressive, and doesn’t let anyone on the deck lol. I yelled, “Yes!” Mainly because, she just might in the right, or wrong situation. Which, honestly, living out here, is fine with me that a she might if a strane man didn’t stay back when she told him to.
When I got closer, and my tone changed, she actualy went up and cautiously let him pet her once. I just love a protective dog. Which, back to Banner, I thought I’d never have. But within a year or so, he was king of the mountain here. Proud, and a really smart dog.
I bet your dog is smarter than you think. He’s young, and big dogs take three yrs. to even become mature at all. You probably know that. And also, I have heard the poop eating thing can be a dificiency of something. Dusty did it for a yr. or two with horse poop. Ick. I just said no kissing me with poop mouth! Just discouraged it. She grew out of it I think really. Aaaw, now I gotta go hug all my babies. Got 3 dogs, a cat, and a bird here. I miss my Tennessee Walking Horse I was training, but it was so expensive, and I live on disability.
Thanks for the comments, and blessings to you and yours. I’m not editing all this so hope I speeeled and purntuated it alrighty. ;) I don’t like slowing down for quoting at all lol…
Oh, and yes Brent, I thank God for Dusty, and she sure is a “Banner Girl”, as I call her, and is great to have. And a miracle I even knew she was born. I rode my horse for the last time before I sold him, down a way I didn’t usualy go, and as I went by a house there were Banner’s pups with their Black Lab mother. I was shocked! He wasn’t fixed, but never bred before. Not till he was 11 yrs old! I had a fixed female dalmation (still do), and that keeps a male home. Well a wolf anyway. So, I stopped, and Dusty kept coming to me, the bravest one, even smelling the horse’s nose. I got Dusty, and she rode home on Flash with me. I didn’t even want another dog, but I didn’t know Banner was going to get hurt bad, and I’d only have him one more year. But God did….. God amazes me all the time!
Robin,
Thank you for sharing this with me. And thank you for the advice, I will institute them with “Ty.” I would’ve never known that Christian intimacy could be achieved via the Internet – and you know I’m talking about the appropriate type of intimacy (never to interfere or upstage the relationship I have with my wife, who is more precious than gold – I encourage her to read everything I write, especially if women are on the other side of the computer). But the kind of intimacy where we can be vulnerable and share the things that touch our heart – for this I thank you very much for being vulnerable in this area with us here, and with me.
The last few years I’ve become quite involved in photography on the side. I’m at the stage where I’m ready to start making a little bit of side money with it – but the main thing is I’ve been doing a lot of pro bono work for churches. In my Alpha / man kind of thinking, being able to utilize my rather expensive camera equipment for the Lord – free of charge, is a great permission statement to indulge in this passion.
I have a photography website, it is: http://www.BrentBolinPhotography.com. The reason I bring it up is that on some of the galleries I have heading statements to explain the pictures within that particular folder. I bring all this up because I would like to share with you what I wrote concerning my new German Shepherd when I first got him. I think that you will appreciate and understand my words concerning my previous German Shepherd that I loved so much.
“This is my new puppy (as of May, 2010): Tiberius Rapscallion Bolin. He is an AKC registered sable German Shepherd – and he is a thief. He is cute, well balanced, loves everybody – especially squirrels, cats, birds and toys – and he will steal anything not nailed down. Ty’s middle name is Rapscallion, not because he loves to find hidden treasures in forbidden secret closets, and then run like the wind to carry away his new booty; but because he has stolen the heart of an old man who has tried to forget the pain that love can bring when death calls.
After the most grievous loss of my first German Shepherd, Romo, four years ago; I told my dearest wife I did not want another dog until I new he would outlive me. I thank God she did not listen to a coward’s words, but brought Ty into our lives. Honey, thank you very much. I love you more than I can ever express, not just for this act of kindness, knowing that it came at an expense to yourself; but for all the sacrificial ways you express love and make me feel like I’m not alone on this dry and dusty planet. After the gift of His Son Jesus Christ, and the salvation that He has afforded to me – the most undeserving of sinners, my wife has been one of God’s most precious gifts, thank you Lord. bb”
Thanks again for sharing. bb
Great post to honor your wife, Brent. And blessings in your photography. I too love photography. I think most of us here are lovers of it. I will start sharing some soon. And I’m glad you have another Shepherd. I love them. They are so beautiful, loyal, and smart. Your’s will probably end up a genious. :) Blessings
Robin, I just ran across this…I have had many faithful dogs. My first, Bootsie, was the one that broke my heart the deepest. He used to grab momma’s arm when she would try to spank me as a child. Mom used to put Bootsie up in the bedroom before I got a spanking. LOL Now I have a long haired Tabby cat named Ozzie. She is beautiful and she is a mess. She is not loyal, she does not love me unconditionally, she expects to be waited on hand and foot, and all she does is eat, sleep, and whine. But she is mine and I love her dearly…so I understand what it is to love a pet.
This poem broke my heart, I remember grieving over so many pets over the years.I am so sorry for you loss…Im glad you have his baby to give you comfort. Ive missed you here girlie….Nonni
Nonni, yes, it can hurt as much as losing a loved one. Ty, I have allot of consolation, and Banner had a hard time with ptsd, even after yrs. and yrs. It was a relief in the end since he had been injured a yr. before, and never was quite well after that. I had a cat 16 yrs. and lost him when I was in my thirties. He was very affectionate. But I have had cats like yours, and I still loved them too. I kinda of admire their independance. Blessings